sad reality

And darling, darling stand by me.

Wednesday, June 30, 2010,12:04 AM

I CANT BELIEVE I WROTE THIS

This is a pretty place with pretty people creating pretty things together.
if i have to conclude my time here within a sentence this is what will say,
but among the awesomeness, in between the prettiness,
are many of the gloomy and unfortunate events that happened within this school boundary.
failing does not upset me, but what does is when success ended up in failure.
Prolonged disappointments are kept unsaid, and it grows with time.
i had an ambition, which i took it to heart with my pride, and I tried my best to execute my dream with a well planed plan.
5 months ago, i was convinced that my life was dull, so was school. i'm a fine art driven person who studies in a graphic driven school. it suffocates me, so i started looked up art universities with S who shares the same interest. we stopped at Pratt institute and did our best to apply for it's fine art course, within a short period of time. and we did managed to rushed out everything within the time frame. portfolio, application forms, essays. i sacrificed one module in school to make time for the application, as we were serious and both very determined. my iP almost went down the drain too, but it didn't. i almost gave everything up for pratt.
2 months after submission, we finally receive our notice, we both got in. happy, yes, overjoyed. i got into a renowned art school in NYC brooklyn with my best friend, and be able to skip first year even without graduating from Tp. So we moved on, with the other applications. everything was so well planned. so neattt. till the last day we made out way down to sign our withdrawal forms.
and we didn't made it after that. long story.
it was like you spent 2 days stewing a delicious and expensive abalone gourmet and it was poured into the drain, directly from the stove then down to the drain.
Dismay, but i learned to deal with it. learned to look on the brighter side, like at least i proved my capability. and for that is positive.
soon after this, melissa left us, anothershock, another blow. life is hard, our souls are fragile, but i believe we still need to fight our way through. she had taught us a valuable lesson with her decision and we have to respect that.
just another 3 days after the melissa incident, one of my best friend broken up with us with the most most ridiculous reason i've heard. ( S stepped KS's new shoe and pushed his face.) i even feel ridiculous when i typed that out.
So three musketeers went down to two, and the remaining two were pretty outcasted by their other friends as we all have common friends, and they stopped talking to us when KS left the group.
people change for no reasons, they might stab u in the back sometimes and u will never know why and when.

Monday, June 28, 2010,8:53 AM

hi light.

i woke up at 7

but the sky was already lit

by sneak peak of the sun

coming around from the other side

i miss the early sun

and the late moon

and the accompany of your arms

i tried to continue

from the book i left half finished

when i was on the other side of the globe

my eyes went through the lines

but my brain catches nothing

It's shian's birthday today.

happpy birthday cat face!

Saturday, June 26, 2010,10:16 AM

i miss everything about you

this home doesn't feel home anymore

Tuesday, June 22, 2010,10:19 AM

我不想走我不想走我不想走我不想走我不想走我不想走我不想走我不想走我不想走我不想走

我不想走

Monday, June 21, 2010,10:02 AM

probably 13 years ago since you last saw wild flowers

and now u've seen them again

like a long lost friend

regaining their accompany

and now you are afraid of losing them

take time to realize

that your heart needs peace.

and your mind needs rest.

you always say 'auf wiedersehen' when you fall in love

Saturday, June 19, 2010,6:32 AM

花房姑娘

我独自走过你身旁,并没有话要对你讲,
我不敢抬头看着你的,噢......脸庞.
你问我要去向何方,我指着大海的方向,
你的惊奇像是给我,噢......赞扬.

你带我走进你的花房,我无法逃脱花的迷香,
我不知不觉忘记了,噢......方向,
你说我世上最坚强,我说你世上最善良,
你不知不觉已和花儿,噢......一样

你要我留在这地方,你要我和它们一样,
我看着你默默地说,噢......不能这样,
我想要回到老地方,我想要走在老路上,
我明知我已离不开你!噢......姑娘!
我就要回到老地方,我就要走在老路上,
我明知我已离不开你!噢......姑娘!

Labels: Indie, songs

Friday, June 18, 2010,1:58 AM

a poem for th ithacan

you brave the chilly wind

walking next to your own shadow

strolling alone

down the dim lit street

winter's coming

chilling

condensed in solitude

no one's gonna know you but yourself

this is exactly like living in tumblr

Labels: ithaca

Thursday, June 17, 2010,9:21 PM

ithaca

hey hi

my electronic diary,

it's my third day in Ithaca

my journey to visit Xiu

i made it after 30hrs of flight and wait

landed safely, despite the ruffles i had during the transmissions

it's chilling here

not cold

just chilling, thanks to the wind.

there isn't much to do in this voidness

but great malls to keep me entertained

i bought a few books to keep my accompanied

I found Dr.Jekyll, finally able to know what a monster he was.

though this is utterly a new environment for me,

only a few things awed me

1)chinese food

they pile it up like a mountain for you.

2)suicide bridge

3)suicide posters

4)ice cream

5)malls

6) yes, of course, mr chen.

oh well, it's said this is probably the safest place in america

i do feel it too.

quiet, peaceful little town.

i enjoy my days here.

very much,

it is an enjoyment to live in such serene place.

i can say the serenity here is almost rare

what a great place to write

to draw

to read

to feel

to think

and often-ly they leave me depressed

yes, i can almost feel that people here are emotional beings.

i've been thinking,

have been reading.

and i prefer to keep myself shut.

you know, thoughts and feelings are contagious.

and all these are worrying.

Labels: ithaca

Sunday, June 13, 2010,11:29 PM

then i started to miss her

before my departure

i miss you purr

i miss your paws in my hair

on my chest

on my thigh

for you tiger.

gone too soon

life is a short trip

i hope u had fun.

Saturday, June 12, 2010,3:17 PM

u silly cat, i told u were fat

everything is irreplaceable

we just got to learn to live with the lose.

11:11 AM

oh well

a day to enjoy

bye!

10:52 AM

this 3D art thing had made me age

i can feel how weak my body is now

great efforts comes with great sacrifices

12:35 AM

i am besieged in the situation's circumstances

so i made a wish

Thursday, June 10, 2010,4:43 PM

AHHHHH

when you fed me poison
i won't bargain for my life
not with you sir
maybe i won't even question why
i took it out of love
and died out of love.
love and passion for what i adore
art and design
pop up art
it's my( fu_king) honor to die in thy( fuc_ing) hand.

P.S: this pop up art thing is poison.
apologize for the uncompleted vulgarities.

3:40 PM

ahh forget about praying souls
because God helps those who help themselves.

2:55 PM

We are all in the gutter,
but some are staring at the stars.

2:54 PM

D said

D said,

Roses are red
Violets are blue
I have five fingers
The middle one's for you.
:>

2:46 PM

actually

actually
i prefer to keep writing,
stop working,
start reading,
off dreaming,
be charming
while
sleep walking.

:>

2:36 PM

run

your opportunity is slipping away with dear time
and u are too afraid to just grab
u prefer it disappear and perish without you knowing
sitting in a sand pit
life is a short trip
the music is for the sadman
u don't see now
u don't see tomorrow
and u can't imagine a shit
maybe is the headache
maybe is the ringings in your ears
blocked out your thoughts and minds
sitting in a sand pit
life is a short trip
the music is for the sadman
you have to believe
that no one is well
we all started at the same line
darted off for the end of race
you lose nothing even you lose the race.
so keep running
keep running
cause life is a short trip

Tuesday, June 8, 2010,4:33 PM

botantic gardens

the tree who fell in love with a boy

Labels: my work

3:21 PM

an emo poem by an emo kia for an emo kia

i stared into the mirror
and i saw your face

yellow and pale,
blemish discolorations
like a piece of aged wall
old and tattered,
peeled off paints
and bug dug holes

you gave a sudden smile
those standard ones
as if trying to prove you're good
you're well
and you're fine

and then i saw your eyes

empathy

but then you said

' let me be,

i'm happier this way'

Labels: high，shag, smilies:)

12:34 PM

不管了

我豁出去了

希望你能包容

Monday, June 7, 2010,1:11 PM

hey

i am not a perfect person

but i will be perfect for the imperfect person

who is perfect for me.

knowing that you can have someone to know all your mistakes and weakness

and still thinks you're amazing.

isn't love tempting?

4:48 AM

Sunday, June 6, 2010,11:57 PM

yeah

fucked up

u care

3:54 AM

where do i begin

a great love story that is older than the sea:

roses are red

and violets are blue

today and shall everyday,

i celebrate my love for you.

Friday, June 4, 2010,11:56 PM

I LOVE MOVING IMAGES

11:53 PM

An emo poem by an emo kia for an emo kia

You told me once

you knew the words

that you knew what they meant

but you didn’t understand them

like a disconnection to the human condition

and I,

I know what you mean

You know and I know and thee know

that as the stars rip across the sky

we are mere beings

we are creatures of sadness and glory

we live in insanity

we die jaded

but you know and I know and thee know

that in the midst of this cross-eyed, jaw-slacked madness

we hold onto this understanding

to our disconnection to the human condition

and therefore

You know and I know and thee know

that one day we wouldn’t die alone

(as inspired by Bukowski)

10:52 PM

i feet i have been eating alot.

ALOT.

but i didnt even eatttt much

>.<

Taipang wants me to show him all the works by monday

and i am really really running out on time

since there's is APEL and mama wants to go IKEA and SINGPOST due on MONDAY

DEAR

LAO GONG

CAN I PLEASE SLEEP LATERR A BIT?

>.<

just a bitttt >.<

Thursday, June 3, 2010,7:36 PM

see the difference

feel the distance

you emo kid

see no shit

7:36 PM

see the difference

feel the distance

you emo kid

see no shit

11:11 AM

DEARR.

I MADE MY OWN SALAD.

shrims+tomato+cheese+egg.

OH and brewed green tea.

haa.

and do u see menmeng's head at the corner. hahhaa

adorable

10:27 AM

Decay

DEER, I admire and enjoy your literature very very much,

but it scares me.

All we are
are sacks of meat
See the face in the mirror?
The angry, the lonely, the damned
Fresh thighs and breasts in styrofoam cases
We manufacture our own misery
All the crushed dreams, the half-lies,
your world is a collapsed galaxy
You are a half-marinated, half-done slab of meat
You’re all battered and bruised
and they say
you’re supposed to be that way
Its better that way
Flies gather over raw, putrified meat
and you are swallowed in a maelstrom of maggots
getting comfortable
lying in your own pool of
self-decay

10:09 AM

Hey

menmeng is staring at the curtains

admiring how wind makes it flows and comes to life.

and i am famished

cravings haunts me

dreams from last night still lingers

it might feed me for the morning

i dunno

who knows

can't remember what though

aching all over

so i said

' that's it, I'm done'

' thoning's over'

P.S: I Find hugging girls weirdd. Don't like :<

1:45 AM

sir

i cradle you everyday

but please don't exploit my love

Wednesday, June 2, 2010,11:19 PM

yessss theyyy do.

10:46 PM

ZEN

nothing can stir me up.

i'm zen.

10:44 PM

YOU BOY

There are people:

wet-suit-wearers, bubble wrapped straight-jackets,

Full armour in the face of an impending emotional war

But then I knew a boy who wrapped himself in barbed wire

and the only person that got hurt

was himself.

4:44 AM

ONLINE:)

Hey, got to tell you this:)

you know how nice it feels to know you're online?

even without talking, just to see your name highlighted in green and says " online"

comforts me:)

didn't realize how much i miss seeing your name online on my list.

yes i do.

and now just by staring at your green highlighted name makes me smile:D

P.S: OUIII I LOVE U SIR> i can't help it when you look like an angel.

Labels: XIUXIU

3:51 AM

BOTRINGGGGGGGGG ah.

sooo botringgg.

NAH. can't wait for morning to come.

3:38 AM

HI XIUFENG, I AM GOING TO LOSE 5KG.

2:30 AM

i want this:(
S$36 bucks:)

1:39 AM

i need retail therapy.

feeling so stressed that i can even hear ringing in my ears.

retail therapy.

can't remember when was the last time i went town.

hmmm, 2 months ago?

ahhhhhhhhhhhh..

need something to distresssss

i wish i can leave aside one day, one sunny day

and immerse myself in one boook.

READ BOOK READ BOOK

ONE GOOD BOOK.

with one ice latte at some quiet cafe

AHHHHHHHH, DREAM ON LAAAA!!!

really need to smack myself...

AHHHH...

POP UP POP UP POOOOOOP UP ART

shitty

feeling shitty

shitty non-stop

where's xiu?

where's S?

where's D?

where's d?

where's y?

AHHH,

where's everyoneeee.

Labels: shitty

1:12 AM

should stop looking at tumblr.

it makes me feel sad :(

OH see what have i found:)

AND THE MUSIC STILL PLAYSSS

just that it can't be detected on my mac.

:( really need to find a way to charge it.

so much memories in it.

Tuesday, June 1, 2010,10:47 PM

oui, see what have i done

oui, see what have i done

Labels: my work

5:23 PM

i want this :(
i want i want.
but don't even know where to get :(

5:07 PM

SCARY PEOPLE :'(

AHHHHH.
:(

the world is filled with weird people.
awesome ones and scary ones.

met the same promoter at the t.MRT again. AGAIN
ASKED THE SAME THING> whether wanna work part time.
then asked me about my SPECS AGAIN:
last time: Is your specs for decorative propose, or real one
this time: this is ray ban ah, how much you get it for ah, where u got it from ah
=.= but this is still fine, acceptable
WAIT TILL I WALKED INTO THE BUS INTERCHANGE, ( was listening to music again)
this weird looking uncle, came up to me from nowhere and hold my hand!
I stunned, stood frozen among the busy crowd. :(
and he keep holding my hand and murmuring things at the same time, which i didn't understand a word.

AHHHHHHHH, i got so scare and ran.
feeel so timid now :<

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
why so many scary people!!!!! :(
can i have more awesome ones instead pleaseeeeeeeeee

Labels: schooll

2:33 PM

DEAR INSPIRATIONS

DEAR INSPIRATIONS :

I'm in the middle of the class, no bad so far.
:>
thanks to TAIPANG PAPA. (he has been scolding kevin for the past 15mins :x )

Looking at inspirational websites to gather references:
TYPOGRAPHY
COLOR SCHEME
PHOTOGRAPHY
ILLUSTRATION
GRAHICS
COMPOSITION
IDEA

P.S: ARTS AND DESIGN IS ADDICTIVE.

10:50 AM

I'M SCARED :<

AHHHHHHHHHH.
dearrr, i wish u are here.

:<

5:46 AM

this is my 500th BLOGPOST,

and i am going to use it on a complain.

:<

DEAR DEARRR IS SOMEWHERE WATCHING TV/SHITTING/WATCHING TV
and me staring into an empty room.

:<

4:38 AM

HIIIII,

DEARRRR.

WE ARE FACE TO FACE OOOOOH.

hehehhehhehheheheh.

love you.
LOADSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS.

Labels: XIUXIU

1:48 AM

I AM IN A VERY VERY TERRIFIED STATE RIGHT NOW.

i want to hide
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

:<

12:08 AM

TAIPANG TEXTED.

:'<